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Old 10-30-2009, 09:31 PM
JK98 JK98 is offline
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Default Women in their 30s dating men 50 and over?

This seems to have been much more common in the past. So many single women seem to be very resistant to dating much older men. Many women won't even consider dating a man who is more than 5 years older than she is.

One of my friends is 50 and wants marriage and children. He is having trouble finding a nice woman who is young enough to have children. I advised him to look for a divorced woman who has a child or two and who wants more children.

Do you think he is being unreasonable? Is a 50 year old man too old to become a father for the first time?

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Old 10-30-2009, 10:12 PM
Heathie89 Heathie89 is offline
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Well I think with the advancement in medicine in that particular area it shouldn't be a problem for a woman let's say of age 40 to have children now! It just really depends on your friends preference on how young he'd like his partner to be.

Also the age of the man is also of great importance! Recently a lot of medical studies have been made that shows that as a man ages the quality of sperm declines making the chance of defective sperm much higher. But of course society has always put more emphasis on a woman's biological clock.

Last edited by Heathie89; 10-30-2009 at 10:19 PM.

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Old 10-30-2009, 10:43 PM
JK98 JK98 is offline
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"Well I think with the advancement in medicine in that particular area it shouldn't be a problem for a woman let's say of age 40 to have children now! It just really depends on your friends preference on how young he'd like his partner to be."

Some women can have children in their early 40s without donor eggs. Others though, especially if they are 44 or over are likely to need donor eggs to have a successful pregnancy. Starting at age 35, a woman's fertility rate start decreasing at a rapid rate, and miscarriage rates and birth defects start increasing at a rapid rate. Ideally a woman should have all her children before she is 35, and trying to have children in her 40s is really pushing it. The age of the man doesn't have much impact, except for an incrreased rate of autism for children born from an older father.


"As women delay childbearing, there is now an unrealistic expectation that medical science can undo the effects of aging."

"The age of the male partner does not appear to matter much when it comes to fertility. Reasons for this include:

All of a woman's eggs are present at birth. They can not divide or be "resupplied", whereas sperm are produced constantly after puberty in men.
  • Eggs age over time, while new sperm are constantly coming off the production line.
  • Sperm from older men can have a reduced fertilizing potential as compared to younger men. However, this tends to be an all or none effect. If the sperm can fertilize eggs - we generally don't see poor embryo quality due to reduced sperm quality. "
http://www.advancedfertility.com/age.htm

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Old 10-30-2009, 10:48 PM
Heathie89 Heathie89 is offline
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Good luck to your friend though!

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Old 10-31-2009, 04:40 AM
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I think it's gross. specially when the kids are involved. ewww.

not unless the kids plan on loosing a father very young.

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Old 10-31-2009, 07:15 AM
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wow. This is extremely random/disturbing. Before I go on, I am going to say... WTF???

But, alas;

It is not good having older sperm fertilize the egg, it can be harmful. Yes, they are "fresh", but it is still not natural, and it is not good for later in life of the kid. If the sperm is constantly coming off the production line fresh like you say, how is it that all the millions of cells undergoing mitosis in your body everyday still age? It is the same thing that is happening down there - mitosis/meiosis. How come you are not as fresh as a fiddle, if all the cells are always being produced? Everything ages, and as a result, cells don't always act properly.

As a species we are living older, and as a result of medical science becoming weaker...

The term "survival of the fittest" comes to mind.
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Old 10-31-2009, 10:45 AM
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I guess you are probably a young woman. For women in their 20s, it usually isn't difficult to find men close in age to date. As women get older though(the 30s, and especially late 30s and beyond) it becomes much more difficult for many women to find a man close in age who is interested in her. Many women are stubborn though, and would rather not date at all than to date men who are at least 10 years older than she is. Many won't even consider dating men more than 5 years older. This issue is complex though, and is part of the reason why so many people are single.

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Old 10-31-2009, 12:27 PM
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This thread is f*&ked up...

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Old 10-31-2009, 12:35 PM
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IMO, a person in his 50s should NOT be courting after a young woman in her 30s. She must live her life to the fullest and not be straddled because of a relationship that will turn out with her looking after him, and nursing him, when he gets very old. And this is coming from someone who just turned 50 and PREFERS women in her 20s. I would never subject a young woman with this hardship.
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Old 10-31-2009, 12:38 PM
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I guess you either got married at a young age, or are single and young. Older singles can relate to the topic of this thread.

  #11  
Old 10-31-2009, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musichound View Post
IMO, a person in his 50a should NOT be courting after a young woman in her 30s. She must live her life to the fullest and not be straddled because of a relationship that will turn out with her looking after him, and nursing him, when he gets very old. And this is coming from someone who just turned 50 and PREFERS women in her 20s. I would never subject a young woman with this hardship.
That's Keith Richards told..

  #12  
Old 10-31-2009, 01:03 PM
JK98 JK98 is offline
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"IMO, a person in his 50a should NOT be courting after a young woman in her 30s. She must live her life to the fullest and not be straddled because of a relationship that will turn out with her looking after him, and nursing him, when he gets very old. And this is coming from someone who just turned 50 and PREFERS women in her 20s. I would never subject a young woman with this hardship. "

Are you really looking for a woman in her 20s? At 50, you might be able to a find a woman in her late 30s(or perhaps even early 30s?) who is interested in you if you are tall and successful. This is especially true if you are willing to consider divorced women with children. Forget about women in their 20s.

I met one woman whose mother was 26 and her father was in his 50s when they got married. Her mother passed away in her 50s, and her father attended the funeral.
Don't make assumptions about the future. It is exraordinary though for a man in his 50s to find a woman in her 20s who is interested in him. That was many years ago anyway, and things were different then.

Tony Randall was 76 when he married a 26 year old woman. He became a father for the first time in his late 70s. That is quite extreme, and not a good idea for most people.

Last edited by JK98; 10-31-2009 at 01:36 PM.

  #13  
Old 10-31-2009, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JK98 View Post
"IMO, a person in his 50a should NOT be courting after a young woman in her 30s. She must live her life to the fullest and not be straddled because of a relationship that will turn out with her looking after him, and nursing him, when he gets very old. And this is coming from someone who just turned 50 and PREFERS women in her 20s. I would never subject a young woman with this hardship. "

I have stopped dating a number of years ago, as I was not having success with women in their 30s, and have no interest in dating women in their 40s. Are you really looking for a woman in her 20s? At 50, you might be able to a find a woman in her late 30s(or perhaps even early 30s?) who is interested in you if you are tall and successful. This is especially true if you are willing to consider divorced women with children. Forget about women in their 20s.

I met one woman whose mother was 26 and her father was in his 50s when they got married. Her mother passed away in her 50s, and her father attended the funeral.
Don't make assumptions about the future. It is exraordinary though for a man in his 50s to find a woman in her 20s who is interested in him. That was many years ago anyway, and things were different then.

Tony Randall was 76 when he married a 26 year old woman. He became a father for the first time in his late 70s. That is quite extreme, and not a good idea for most people.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:09 PM
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No, I'm not looking for women because I am married. But even if I wasn't married, I would keep younger women out of the equation, even though I had several "opportunities" with a few of them in the past.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:26 PM
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"No, I'm not looking for women because I am married. But even if I wasn't married, I would keep younger women out of the equation, even though I had several "opportunities" with a few of them in the past. "

That is easy to say since you are married. If you were 50 and single and without children, it might not be so easy to say that women in their 30s should be avoided, and really mean it. I would avoid a woman in her 20s though if she was interested in me.

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Old 10-31-2009, 01:35 PM
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I don't think it's that easy for me, because the temptation is there, and will always be there. It's just that I would never want to subject a woman to be straddled, especially when I would get older, for I would feel really guilty about it. I do feel for your friend, however, because he wants to have children. With today's modern medicine, there are many women well into their 40s who can have children, so maybe this path would be better for him?
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:44 PM
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"I don't think it's that easy for me, because the temptation is there, and will always be there. It's just that I would never want to subject a woman to be straddled, especially when I would get older, for I would feel really guilty about it."

I don't view it that way, and for some women the choice is either to marry an older man, or remain single forever. Marrying the older man, even if he does pass away long before she does is still imo a better option than her staying single forever.

"With today's modern medicine, there are many women well into their 40s who can have children"

I guess you probably didn't read this web page.

http://www.advancedfertility.com/age.htm

Many women in their 40s would need to use donor eggs in order to have children. Having children that are not biologically related to the mother is very undesirable.
There are other reasons for not wanting to use donor eggs. A much better idea is for a man who wants children to look for a woman in her 30s.

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Old 10-31-2009, 02:28 PM
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Actually my wife gave birth to a healthy baby girl when she was 43, with absolutely no complications, so I am speaking from experience. While the fertility of the eggs decrease and chances if miscarriages and abnormalities increase as a women gets older, they can seek advice from a fertility expert before she chooses to have children.
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:50 PM
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At 43, a woman's chances of having a succesful pregnancy naturally is probably well under 50%. Some women will be able to do so, but many won't be able to.

Last edited by JK98; 10-31-2009 at 08:28 PM.

  #20  
Old 10-31-2009, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JK98 View Post
I guess you are probably a young woman.
Wrong. I must ask what would cause you to make an assumption? Was it my use of biological facts?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JK98 View Post
For women in their 20s, it usually isn't difficult to find men close in age to date. As women get older though(the 30s, and especially late 30s and beyond) it becomes much more difficult for many women to find a man close in age who is interested in her. Many women are stubborn though, and would rather not date at all than to date men who are at least 10 years older than she is. Many won't even consider dating men more than 5 years older. This issue is complex though, and is part of the reason why so many people are single.
See, now this is where you lose track. You said in earlier posts it is difficult for older women to get pregnant, but males still have a high pregnancy rate. I simply said that the men also lose quality with age. It's biological fact. But now you are telling me about male/female dating habits? I was talking about biological evidence.

Your earlier post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JK98 View Post
One of my friends is 50 and wants marriage and children. He is having trouble finding a nice woman who is young enough to have children. I advised him to look for a divorced woman who has a child or two and who wants more children.

Do you think he is being unreasonable? Is a 50 year old man too old to become a father for the first time?
I do feel for your mate, to be honest I'm looking forward to the whole marriage/children scene. But if this guy is 50, there are women out their in their 50s in his situation. My advice wouldn't be find a divorced women with children, but just find someone he could spend his life with, and who is after the same things as he is.

If this women is unable to conceive, why not adopt? By adopting your giving an opportunity to a young child who could have had a hard life or is having a hard life. Although they aren't yours, adopted children will treat their adopted parents like real parents. My cousin is adopted, my aunt is adopted, both of whom talk to their 'adopted' parents more then their biological.
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